Mercury Rising 鳯女

Politics, life, and other things that matter

In Which Miss Gulch Gets Pwned Like A Pwny Thing

Posted by Phoenix Woman on July 16, 2007

Earlier this week, in her patented Hushed Tones Of Moral Authority, conservative columnist Katherine Kersten breathlessly informed the readers of her StarTribune column that there was a Serious Heroin Problem (no doubt the work of liberals and our permissive society) in the deceptively-serene college town of Northfield, Minnesota:

A perfect storm has hit Northfield, Minn. Last week, police there announced that the city is combating an epidemic of heroin use by kids ages 15 to 23. Between 150 and 250 kids are apparently involved, and the operation is centered at Northfield High School. The heroin comes from Twin Cities pushers.

Northfield’s crime rate has skyrocketed, as young users break into cars or garages and steal to feed habits costing as much as $800 a day. Kids have roamed through dorms at Carleton and St. Olaf colleges, grabbing laptops and cell phones to sell. They have even invaded hospitals in Rochester, soliciting patients for OxyContin.


Today, in short, we discourage reckless pleasure seeking generally by invoking more self-interest: the consequences of drinking or sex may inconvenience you, or harm your health. Today, we rarely tell our kids that certain behaviors are morally wrong or beneath human dignity. Nor do we emphasize that obligations to others — parents, teachers and fellow citizens — should bar such behavior.

We prefer to believe that this philosophy of hedonism and radical individualism — checked only by a fuller consideration of self-interest –won’t have long-term negative consequences.

But we shouldn’t be surprised when our young people act on it, and do so in frightening ways that we didn’t anticipate.

Take this vision of life and add other ingredients: affluence, busy parents who sometimes don’t monitor behavior and proximity to a big city with heroin pushers eager to expand their territory.

And you get Northfield’s perfect storm.

Except that, well, the Great Northfield Smack Epidemic turns out to be a crock o’ dung:

• School authorities have dismissed the notion of a heroin ring at the high school.

• No heroin-possession indictments have been returned.

• Area hospitals report no evidence of young con artists at work.

• The record is mixed on thefts at local colleges, with an increase at Carleton but no such hike at St. Olaf.

Others have raised concerns about the number of young people reportedly using the drug.

Northfield schools Superintendent Chris Richardson, who learned about Smith’s news conference only a couple hours beforehand, was dumbfounded by the chief’s assessment.

“Our numbers just don’t match up,” he said.

Richardson added that in the 2006-07 school year there were 15 students referred for drug treatment who were heroin or oxycodone users.

“What I think many of us are questioning is, was this a significant exaggeration of the reality, and if it was, did we end up with a negative impact along with whatever positive there was?” Richardson said.

The article goes on to cite other community leaders, students, and others who know whereof they speak, and they all say that the “150 to 250 smack addicts” figure is ridiculous. 

But hey, Miss Gulch got another chance to wag her bony fingers at Those Awful Permissive Liberals, so it’s not a total loss. (Meanwhile, the always-excellent Mark Gisleson of Norwegianity tees off on not just Kersten, but the conservatively-permissive management of the StarTribune that lets her slop such swill onto their once-proud pages.)

6 Responses to “In Which Miss Gulch Gets Pwned Like A Pwny Thing”

  1. […] by Phoenix Woman on July 19th, 2007 Wow.  Looks like Miss Gulch might be this guy’s only friend left: Taking a leave of absence in the middle of a […]

  2. […] Jesse James gang would be such a den of iniquity. Leading the charge was the StarTribunes very own Miss Gulch, conservative columnist Katherine […]

  3. The Truffle said

    So, will Ms. Gulch admit that she goofed? Run a retraction?

    Who’s up for writing to her?

  4. Heh! You can try, but you won’t get a response.

  5. frankdawg81 said

    I have a work friend whos wife works at the stribe. She stopped by to pick him up a while ago & we go to talking. I asked her about this thing that writes and her response was to roll her eyes. “Nobody likes her, she is a mean spirited, horrible person that treats everyone like dirt.” . . . “They have asked her to not come into the building any more than necessary because she causes so much trouble.”

    I asked why they kept her then.
    “They think that she buys them some credibility with the right-wing so maybe they will buy the paper.”

    She then pointed out that they also employee another welfare queen (my term, hers was nicer) James Lilicks in a roll he is totally unsuited for.

  6. Wow! Somehow, that doesn’t surprise me, Frank. Thanks, and feel free to pass on any more tidbits of this nature.

Sorry, the comment form is closed at this time.

%d bloggers like this: