Mercury Rising 鳯女

Politics, life, and other things that matter

Ask The Bloggess

Posted by Phoenix Woman on April 25, 2009

Go ahead, ask her anything. You’ll always get a memorable response. For example:

… The thing that makes me most qualified to have an advice column is the fact that someone gave me an advice column.  Also I’m better than Dr. Phil, who is apparently following me on twitter. I’m not sure if it’s the real Dr. Phil but the advice he was giving out was total crap so it’s probably him.  I spent an entire afternoon arguing with Dr. Phil about his completely unrealistic and unhelpful tweets and even though most of it only happened in my head it’s pretty clear who won.  A few examples of Dr. Phil’s advice vs. my advice:

Dr. Phil: Never assume that you’re stuck with the way things are. You have the ability to make a difference.

Me: Never assume that you’re stuck with the way things are. Things can get way shittier.

Dr. Phil: The world in which you live depends on the world you choose to see and the values you choose to express!

Me: The world in which you live depends on where you were born and if you have access to clean drinking water.  Otherwise you are in for a lot of diarrhea.

C’mon, she’s TBogg Approved!

9 Responses to “Ask The Bloggess”

  1. Truly, though Dr. Phil is certainly an idiot, you do have the capacity to change your circumstances no matter what they are.

  2. brownbuffalo said

    Yeah well, if suicide is considered an acceptable change in one’s circumstances I’ll agree with you Mahakal, but otherwise, not so much. The bootstrap theory of social survival/change is an illusion.

  3. Charles II said

    Isn’t there an uncanny resemblance between Jenny and Betty Bowers?

  4. BB, great advice, tell people to kill themselves because there’s no hope.

    Take a dose of Aurum Metallicum 30C. See what it does for you.

  5. brownbuffalo said

    Hi Mahakal, I believe you misunderstood me. I was not advising the down & out to kill themselves. Rather I was responding to your seemingly Pollyanna-esque observation that no one is so utterly downtrodden he/she can’t improve his/her situation through self-reliance & hard work. My point being the World unfortunately isn’t like that and while many, many people can and do try exceedingly hard to overcome they fail and were never going to do anything other than fail.

    I don’t know what AM 30C is and don’t care to look it up. Your hostility surprises me.

  6. Here’s another one:

    Q: Dear Bloggess, My sister likes to give me child rearing advice. Except that she doesn’t have any children, she has dogs. How can I tell her to butt out of my life without lunging over the table at dinner and choking her? ~ Kerry

    A: Ask your sister if she’s worried that her kids can’t use the toilet yet and then whisper loudly to your mom that the fact that they’re still not talking might be a sign of abuse. Then when your sister’s all “They’re dogs” be all “That’s no excuse for bad parenting”. And if she gets bitchy spray her with a bottle of water and yell “No. No. Bad Sharon.” That always works with dogs.

    Read more: “Askthebloggess on PNN” – http://askthebloggess.pnn.com/13150-the-front-page#ixzz0DkZQSaOk&A

  7. You are totally making me blush. And also wonder why we’re talking about suicide. If this is some sort of suicide pact thing I’m out. Unless we’re doing it with good drugs. Then I’ll try a little bit.

    • Don’t worry, Jenny. Moms with small children are exempt. (Besides, I am so far out of the loop where good drugs are concerned that the last time I had hash was 1981.)

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