A basket case of sick puppies

Carl Hiassen, The Guardian:

The Florida Republican primary: a basket case of sick puppies

Between Mitt hoping Fidel Castro will ‘self-deport’ from the planet and Newt’s moon shot, it’s a weird GOP race. But this is Florida
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In the debates, Romney doesn’t twitch like Rick Santorum or ramble like Ron Paul. He doesn’t get confused. He doesn’t blurt stupid things. His line about the voluntary “self-deportation” of illegal immigrants didn’t cost him many votes among conservatives.

Usually, Mitt stands orderly and composed, doing his standard Mitt thing. Many Florida Republicans are underwhelmed, because suddenly it’s a close race. As a result, Romney has been forced to ramp up his rhetoric, which doesn’t come easy for the guy.

Campaigning in Little Havana last week, Romney said:

“If I’m fortunate enough to become the next president of the United States, it is my expectation that Fidel Castro will finally be taken off the planet. We have to be prepared.”

The phrase “taken off the planet” was a weird choice, conjuring an image of Fidel being dragged by pointy-headed aliens into a spaceship. What Romney should have said was: “Castro is old and sick, and soon he’ll be dead. We need to be ready for change in Cuba.”
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Castro has outlasted 10 American presidents, yet Gingrich without a smirk promises to be one who will vanquish the 85-year-old tyrant. He didn’t reveal his secret plan for eliminating Fidel, but perhaps the CIA could devise an exploding Depends.