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Archive for the ‘Tom Lehrer’ Category

To a Possibly Recognizable Melody

Posted by MEC on February 1, 2007

From Macdaffy of Salon‘s Table Talk, inspired by The Master.

Who made me the pundit I am today,
The Eminent Scribe that others all quote?
Who’s the confessor that made me that way,
Who ducked attribution whenever I wrote?

One man deserves the credit,
One man deserves the blame,
and Irving Lewis “Scooter” Libby Junior is his name. Oy!
Irving Lewis “Scooter” Libby…

I am never forget the day I first meet the great Scooter Libby!
In two words he told me secret of success in Washington:

Wilson Lies! Wilson lies!
Reading the New York Times will strain your eyes,
This fellow wasn’t sent by Cheney’s guys
To cause our war’s demise
So Wilson lies! Wilson lies! Wilson lies! …
And be sure always to call him, please… “A Jerk”.

And ever since I meet this man my life is not the same,
And Irving Lewis “Scooter” Libby Junior is his name. Oy!
Irving Lewis “Scooter” Libby…

I am never forget the day I am given first original leak to pass. It was on Analytic and Bureaucratic Topology of Valerie Wilson’s Role Within The CIA Hierarchy In Sending
Her Loser Husband Joseph Wilson To Africa!
Bolzhe moi!
This I know from nothing!
But I think of great Scooter Libby and I get idea – haha!

I have a friend at Time,
Who might believe our slime,
And Judy Miller takes a juicy story every time
There’s Pincus at the Post
Bob Woodward is a ghost
If Novak sees that Valerie is C-I-A,
She’s toast!
And when his work is done –
Haha! – begins the fun.
From Novak to Bob
To Pincus a lob
By way of a leak,
At the end of the week,
To Cooper at Time
To Judy’s pique
The slime! The grime!
The sleaze! The crime!
To me the news will run,
Yes, to me the news will run!
And then I write by morning, night,
And afternoon and pretty soon
My name in Wilson’s house is cursed,
When they find out I leaked it first!

And who made me a big success
And brought me wealth and fame?
Irving Lewis “Scooter” Libby Junior is his name. Oy!
Irving Lewis “Scooter” Libby…

I am never forget the day my first article is published.
Every chapter I stole from somewhere else.
Index I copy from old Judith Miller article sourced by “Curveball!”
This article! This article was sensational!
Fitzgerald! Ah! Fitzgerald! Fitzgerald said: “Zhil byl korol’ kogda-to,
Pri njom blokha zhila” (“It stinks”)
But Ted Wells! Ted Wells said:
“Ya idu kuda sam tzar’ peshkom hodil” (“It stinks”)
The American People bought the trial rights for six million dollars,
Changing title to ‘The Eternal Triangle’,
With Richard Cheney playing part of hypotenuse.

And who deserves the credit?
And who deserves the blame?
Irving Lewis “Scooter” Libby Junior is his name.
Oy!

(The original)

Posted in Fitzgerald, Libby trial, parody, Table Talk, Tom Lehrer | 2 Comments »

 
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